Jiggly Jiggly, Time to Clean

Traffic is kinda jam today although I go home from office before 6pm to avoid more people going home or on the road off from work. Maybe it's due to the rain earlier.

As usual, I can't sit still in the jam and I'll most likely to fiddle around. Look at my surroundings, doing some thinking or reminiscing, playing with my phone, sing along to the songs on the radio and also one of my favourite is to play with the charms on my bracelet.

Been having the charms and bracelet from Thomas Sabo for about a year already. Each signifying a different milestones for me this year or bringing a certain meaning to my life. Started off with the heart shaped charm that came along with the bracelet and also the Eiffel Tower charm. That's my first charms.

It is then followed by the star charm, then a rose gold 4 leaves clover and currently stopped at the seahorse charm. Need to stop for awhile as it's already about 1k spent already. Saw some other charms in shops in Sg. Wang and Fahrenheit88 but they are just not the same.

One of the beauty of charms is that they come in different shapes and sizes. Therefore it could mean different things to different people or just simply appeal to different people due to how it looks or how it's made.

Just looking at it jiggling in my hand can calm me sometimes and at times it seems fun to play with.

While jiggling and looking at it in the car just now, I'm reminded about my chat with Kei and Pingu earlier in office. I have to take it to Thomas Sabo to clean it already. Part of the caring for the charms and bracelet. Anyway, it's also part of the services provided by Thomas Sabo when you buy their charms. If I ain't lazy or wanting to go home early, I have to remember to go and get it cleaned. Lol.

Posted on 9:42 PM by Andy Leong and filed under | 0 Comments »

Lock it up...

No words needed. Right now, locking is the best method. How else can you save your heart from hurt and pain?

Posted on 10:12 AM by Andy Leong and filed under | 0 Comments »

Emptiness

emp·ti·ness 
ˈem(p)tēnis/
noun

1. the state of containing nothing.
    "the vast emptiness of space"
2. the quality of lacking meaning or sincerity; meaninglessness.
    "he realizes the emptiness of his statement"
3. the quality of having no value or purpose; futility.
    "feelings of emptiness and loneliness"

A sudden feeling of emptiness just hit me. The third kind is the closest. What is it I'm feeling now? I'm doing what I should but why is my heart feeling so heavy? What kind of emptiness is it? 

An emptiness due to a sudden load has been removed? A load that I have been carrying but unwilling to discard for so long. A decision made after thinking over for so long, consulting (pushed/persuaded) others' opinions and finally decided that it has to stop. 

Or is it a void in the heart that grew bigger? One which I have so diligently and with hardship made smaller for so long. It is now so small that I ain't letting anyone new into it. Just the ones I trust. But the empty void seems to have become bigger suddenly. Why is it so? I can't tell.  I might just have to put in more effort into closing it. Not wanting to open it for anyone else for now.

Which kind of emptiness is this? I don't like this feeling. Please. What can I do? I don't wanna feel anymore.
Posted on 6:47 PM by Andy Leong and filed under | 0 Comments »

Rythm Master

Currently been hooked on this game. RYTHM MASTER by Tencent. It has a variety of songs consisting of Chinese, Korean, Japanese and English with a wide range of genre. Also stage game mode or just simple song selection mode. 

I've always like to play this kind of music rythm games. Available in both Android and iOS.


Posted on 6:46 PM by Andy Leong and filed under | 0 Comments »

Another pissed post, I think...

Really feel f*cked up by some certain events. However you put it also, it still seems to me like somebody received some directives or something to purposely delay my application so that the payment is made after the closing of the promotion. Kinda pissed off to type too much. Gonna just copy and paste what I typed when I messaged my friend(s) about this, with some edit on spelling and more information in brackets. So, this is another post where it sounds kind of like a chat message.

Do you know about the (PTPTN) promotion? If you pay back everything in one lump sum before today(1st October 2013), you can get back 20% cash back.
I heard about it when the CCRIS thing was reported (which was later put on hold).
So I did my applications end of August (to pay off the balance owing in one lump sum through my KWSP second account)
Normally it take 2 weeks from PTPTN (PTPTN was late in preparing my statement, the process was delayed by a week but all is fine after I went and enquire, so the delay is about 1-2 days more than the 2 weeks) and 2 weeks from KWSP (with many people praising KWSP online saying that they mostly complete it in less than 2 weeks)
I have ample time (to complete the processing and to get the cash back)
By 10th (September), i submitted to KWSP already
They say it will take only 2 weeks max
By 24th, still no approval (I started monitoring my application using the I-Account)
I keep calling and they say everything's fine and prepared. Just waiting approval. (Documents were checked, twice, at two counters on the day of the application itself, how could an approval take so long?)
Last I called was last Thursday, 26th, they change statement, say minimum is 2 weeks but can take up to 21 working days (This is the first time I heard it)
last last, just now I check
They approve it on the last day (of the promotion, 30th September)
and payment made today (1st October)
that totally made me miss it by 1 day only
few thousands burn just like that
although I have ample time
I applied in late august
1 month plus
And they have to "kek" (annoy/frustrate) me by approving yesterday
And debit the money today
Approve on last day (of promotion), debit one day after expiry of promotion

I have to state here that, I've started paying my PTPTN debts after I start working and I have been making monthly payments for years, stopping only at the end of 2011 due to some financial problems. And the reason I did not know about the promotion (effective 1st September 2012 - 31st September 2013) was due to the fact that I was heartbroken and mending my broken heart. I did not have time for anything else. It was only recently that I have known about this promotion due to the CCRIS plan announcement by PTPTN where I read it from online newspaper.

It doesn't seem or feel fair to me and there is nothing I can do about it as I have no control over this matter. I did my part by handing my application as early as I can. I can even remember collecting my PTPTN statement and handing my application to KWSP although I was shivering all the way (in the car, inside PTPTN, at KWSP) as I have high fever. Totally cannot bear it. MC for few days some more. This is not to mentioned all the time and money lost. Parking at KL Sentral is not cheap. So much time wasted in going to those places in person, and making calls, doing research. In the end, they can just f*ck it up just like that. It just made me wonder, so, I rush for what?

I do not know if I am still eligible for the 20% cash back and right now, I can only have a "wait and see" outlook on this matter. I did my part but the other "f*ck up" part, I have no control of it. Let's just wait and see. The only consolation now is, I shot down another debt this year and I still overpaid but it's less than 100 bucks. Gonna need to go process the refund... And this will waste me some more time and money again... So, once I got my "Surat Pelepasan Hutang" (Debt Discharge Letter), come what may, CCRIS? Blacklist from going oversea (BTW, I wasn't blacklisted as I have made quite a lot of payments)? It don't concern me anymore. I have fulfilled my responsibility.
Posted on 12:01 PM by Andy Leong and filed under | 0 Comments »

One Year...

It's ONE YEAR!!! 

Lots happened, lots of changes. More pros than cons. 

Many unseen changes but things are better by a lot. It's not things that can be flaunted or used to "show off". To many my life is mundane or I've achieved not much. Heck, even I, myself feel and sometimes complain that nothing exciting is happening in my life thus far. Still, to me, there are things that I can feel or look back this past one year and see the changes for myself. Those are things that are mostly known to myself and maybe some of those changes for a select few.

Where many reel in delight for accumulating material stuffs or even short term stuffs such as fun or fame and glamour, I've gained by bettering myself internally and externally, finding, experiencing and exploring who I am without constraints of others' expectations on me. Totally free to be who I want or need to be, no longer scared of meeting expectations or losing what is thought to be important. And perhaps the biggest change I can see is that from that broken, fragile me to this current stronger (maybe not strong enough) me. 

Now being able to really focus on myself and mostly what I enjoy (with the constraints of my available resources, lol) at my own pace and when I feel to do it. Whole saga has made more people realise that I'm who I feel I need to be and that I won't sway from what I want and who I am deep inside. All I need is just the chances to try all I could and see for myself. With that said, there are still so many things I wanted to do and experience. I'm chasing it. I might not have big goals or big dreams but I am chasing it and being true to myself at that. 

Being able to buy stuffs that I like (mostly for myself) used to be a luxury. I can barely remember when did I buy a piece of clothing for myself or a game or toy prior to the start of this one year, I'm glad that I am able to spend, splurge and pamper myself a bit more now. Still, it's better if I could control myself more. I'm learning it though. Shopping therapy used to be one of my outlet to de-stress. Whenever I'm happy, I reward myself, whenever I feel or see things that made me sad, I need to shop to feel better. Initially, the latter happens a lot. Now, my urge to buy n shop is not as strong anymore.

I guess the biggest self achievement I can feel are self-improvement, focusing more on myself, being able to spend more time with people who mattered and repairing broken relationships. I've also been able to connect with more friends, knowing more friends, getting closer to more people and differentiate between real friends and the fake ones. Been also able to reduce lots of debts which is caused by certain "stuffs", scenarios and the likes (which I do not feel like disclosing) and also being able to save some for rainy days. No longer having people or financial institutions calling me to chase for payments or telling me I'm "over-limit". Lol, I've even helped quite some friends along the way. I can finally hold my head high again. It seems true, pride has been a part of me which I've kinda lost previously.

Being single isn't so bad after all. Actually, the repercussions now is that sometimes, you've felt that from that unwanted broken piece of poor lamb. You've picked yourself up over and over again every time you fall back down and thankfully to God, there are people who helped you and stood by you along the way (A big and heartfelt thank you to the genuine ones). So, basically now you are a better person who've grown stronger and stronger. Kinda like an upgraded and improved version of yourself. It's not easy along the way. As per my horoscope, from a lamb to become a ram. And now, you no longer want to share or give this upgraded version of yourself to people anymore... You can call it as being selfish or not wanting to go through those hurt and pains that you've gone through anymore. You can't just rush in like a fool anymore, there's not too many time that a heart can be broken over and over again.

Felt like a lot that I've wanted to express but at the same time, these things, I wanted to keep for myself. Just wanted to mark today with a few words but it seems that today, I've shared more than what I've originally intended to. I'm still learning, I'm still improving and making mistakes but that's being human. With these said I'd say, "YAY, ONE YEAR!!!". Hahaha.
Posted on 6:08 PM by Andy Leong and filed under | 0 Comments »

Black Friday 13/09/2013


Lazy to re-type, just copy and paste from my chat with Kei (my portion). It's in my chat format.


just now i tie my hair n go to work
walk walk walk to office... saw from far itu Director (also in charge of GIT de)
i quickly pull my hair band
then walk walk walk
pretend nothing happen
after buying coffee, i go up to office
in room, I go pantry to take water and so ngam Pingu also going
so we both go to pantry
almost reaching ... jeng jeng jeng
itu director suddenly shoot out
masuk pantry
we cannot turn around also, too obvious ba
i need to wash my bottle, he was washing his cup
i let pingu do her thing first
then when i wash my bottle
itu director open his mouth
"wah, ur hear so long oh!!!"
"from far i see u, u look like a bad/band(band is pingu heard de) boy hor"

i "err, mm, ya ya"
then he "nowadays bad/band boys like to have long hair n wear dark dark de hor (i am wearing all black with white tie"
in my mind "black friday ma"
then i "erm, ya ya" again
then i quietly slip away to fill my bottle
then he look at the water dispenser "aiya both also heating up"
then i "ya lo"
when i finished filling up i quickly slip away
lol

My options now:

a) cut hair
b) hohoho and treat like nothing happen
c) dun care

Oh, and when I went back to GIT room, Pingu is already telling this piece of "news" to BC and I gave them a "death stare" and they laughed out loud... Boo!!!

Posted on 10:25 AM by Andy Leong and filed under | 0 Comments »